Fraking Welcome: An Adam Lovett Screenplay

 

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ONSREEN: “SATURDAY 11.38PM

Outside a quixotically maintained cinema. The kind that boasts midnight screenings of CHARLEY VARRICK, KISS ME DEADLY and NIGHT OF THE HUNTER. ~Features Takeshi Miike and Nicolas Refn-Winding in the coming attractions, still serves beer and is laced with the faint aroma of ganja. ~

The movie house marquee flashes the latest releases, a Saturday matinee and tonight’s after dark double bill LE SAMOURAI & LEON: The PROFESSIONAL.

Under the pulsing neon FRAKER1 and FRAKER2 come into view. FRAKER1 is in his early 30’s. Tall with the look of a young Jeff Goldblum he struts like a scruffy lookin’ herder of some fantastical creature. ~FRAKER2, 41, walks with a slight limp out of habit and reminds of John Cazale.

The film-geek duo purchase tickets and enter the building.

INT. MIDNIGHT

Inside a the dimly lit movie house. ~Patrons are seating themselves in preparation for the big show. The curtain has parted and an assortment of mindless advertisements flash across the screen. FRACKER1 and FRACKER2 search for their seats.

FRAKER1
Did you read the review on Film FraK?

FRAKER2
FILM FRAK?

FRAKER1
A new film site…You know, News, reviews, trailers.

FRAKER2
What’s it like?

FRAKER1
The “Who the Frak Am I” section describes it as “An esoteric film fraking experience that inspires screenings of cult gems of the past, fiery discussion of current releases and passionate enthusiasm for future attractions.”

FRAKER2
You sound like an advertisement.

FRAKER1
What did you think this is, real life?

With that the lights fade and LE SAMOURAI begins.

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